Danish researchers, concerned with a recent rise in male genital birth defects and a precipitous drop in sperm count amongst adult males, have spent the past five years grimly ranking their crown jewels against those of the Finns. Sadly for the Danes, the Finns appear to be beating them soundly; not only does the “ellipsoidal volume” of the Danish package lag behind their rivals at birth, but the Finns averaged three times more testicular growth after three months. There is something rotten in the state of Denmark, and it is compromising the manhood of the tallest and blondest nation on earth.

Before succumbing to Schadenfreude, consider the fact that researchers think that environmental toxins are the culprits behind Denmark’s woes. They believe that these toxins, including many household products that we use on a daily basis, alter the “normal” hormone signals-not only within an expectant mother, but also in the body of her developing embryo/fetus. Many environmental toxins are similar in shape and structure to natural hormones, and can “mimic” the actions of these look-alikes in our bodies (and thus wreak havoc on the reproductive system).

Thus far, scientists have been more concerned about the impact of hormone disrupters on males. This is because the human fetus always starts life as a female; if it is to become a boy, then at about six weeks the male hormones kick in which instruct the growth of the male reproductive tract, while female ducts regress and are re-absorbed. Thus, exposing a male embryo at this time to a chemical that mimics female oestrogen hormones can harm the development of the male sexual organs.
In sum, it isn’t only the Danes who have something to worry about….

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